Mighty is the way of the Jaguar XJ-S
Clever men did craft the XJ-S at the dawn of time, but they did pass on, and before their schemes bore fruit, a dark age did fall upon the land. No longer did the Arab Kings give freely of their oil, their money lenders fell out and did draw tight shut their purses.
In the mighty forges of Browns Lane sad times had fallen. The Men of Vision were caste out into the darkness, and timid functionaries from the government did hold the reins of power.
Like a thief in the night did the XJ-S sneak into the marketplace; not for this great chariot the fanfares of its illustrious forebears.
The Dark Days, they did linger, fewer and fewer of the mighty XJ-S chariots left the forge, but before the few craftsmen remaining did leave to wander the land in idleness, a new leader came forth to the forge, and said to the timid men in Whitehall, Lo, give unto me the forge and I will make great chariots again, and it was so.
The clouds of the dark age began to pass, the Arab Kings once again were generous with their oil and the money lenders did smile on the people and loosen the strings of their purses, and once again great chariots did roam the land, and the greatest of these chariots was the XJ-S. Harken unto me and I will reveal its nature.
It taketh the weary driver into its womb, and with Conolly hide and burr walnut doth it cosset him. Its climate control doth keep his brow dry and his nature sweet. It taketh the bold driver and helpeth him to be a great ace in the twisty bits, it preventeth the fool from arrival at the Pearly Gates before his time, so sure footed is the way of this great chariot. Huge distances will it span in little time. It maketh his driver look upon travel as a blessing and not a chore.
Take heed, I say unto you before the money lenders again draw closed their purses, and the Arab Kings shutteth their wells; sell your oxen, mortgage your ass, casteth your spotty teenage offspring from expensive places of learning and into the labour force; entreat with your wife, forsake your concubines, go into the marketplace and take unto yourself the greatest of great chariots, an XJ-S, for 10, they may not pass before you again, and all your days will you gnash and grind your teeth, never to be a driver of the greatest of great chariots.
